Chemistry is Key in Relationships

May 07, 2017

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ROOMMATES FALLING IN LOVE

Back in the day, roommates used to be the same sex. But now, that’s changed completely and, according to a recent piece in the New York Post that appeared on 3/2/17 titled, Lease on Love and written by Christian Gollayan, there’s another factor that’s entered into this situation: roommates finding they’ve fallen in love.

To distill from the article, “When Andrea Charalambous, 26 was looking for an apartment on the website ‘Roomster’ she connected with Andreas Fylaktou, 26. At their initial meeting the two liked each other so Andrea moved in and they quickly bonded over their shared Greek heritage. A short time later sparks ignited.

The downside of getting cozy with a roomie according to Hana McGrath, a real estate salesperson with TripleMint is this, “If the romance doesn’t work out, you have to move and this can prove to be expensive in New York.” Or, as Alexandra Bernardini, 25 says, “I think of a roommate as a friend. If you want to move into something more, you’d better be very sure of what you’re doing.”

DATING TO FALL IN LOVE

I found a short article that came out on 3/9/17 in the Post titled Consciously Coupling by Lauren Steussy that intrigued me because it zeroed in on “taking charge of bad dating habits to find love.” Here are four tips from Upper West Side psychologist, Elizabeth Cohen:

Tip #1 Think of a date like a job interview and consider whether the person is someone you’d enter into a long-term business arrangement with.

Tip #2 Clear out an internal dialogue so you can actually be present, because this may be a cool person who you don’t want to miss out on.

Tip #3 Consider what you’d like to communicate to a potential partner, instead of trying to predict what they’ll say back.

Tip #4 Think of the first few dates as collecting information and don’t feel you have the answer after the first date.

(For more info go to: ElizabethCohenPhD.com/approach-to-therapy)

WHEN LOVE IS A FRIENDSHIP

Chemistry is a critical ingredient whether it’s love or friendship and here’s a terrific article written by Victor Lodato. It was given to me by a good friend and appeared in The New York Times on 2/24/17. The headline reads: When Your Greatest Romance is a Friendship.

This is a very moving piece that will bring tears to your eyes. So, instead of excerpting from it, I’m including the link and trust you’ll like it as much as we did.

CLICK HERE: Modern Romance

THE BOND OF ETERNAL LOVE

I saw the 1965 movie Dr. Zhivago on Turner Classic Movies recently and that started me thinking about the book by Boris Pasternak that the movie is based on. Specifically, I was interested in the character, Lara, played by Julie Christie. Was there a Lara in real life? After searching awhile, I found a book titled, Lara: The Untold Love Story and the Inspiration for Doctor Zhivago, by Anna Pasternak, the author’s grandniece.   

The book about the love between Olga (Lara) and Boris Pasternak

This is a gripping tale of love and danger in Russia during Stalin’s reign of brutality and terror. Against this backdrop the unbelievable story of the love between Pasternak and Lara (who, in real life, was Olga Vsevolodovna Ivinskaya) unfolds. They were instantly smitten with each other the minute they met and this never changed. Not even when Olga was sent to the gulag twice because Boris Pasternak was so famous the Russian authorities knew they couldn’t touch him. They tried to get information about him from Olga – but never succeeded – not even once.

Julie Christie (Lara), Omar Sharif (Yuri) and Geraldine Chaplin    (Tonya) in the movie, Dr. Zhivago, based on the book by Boris Pasternak. It was awarded the Nobel Prize for Literature in 1958

Pasternak won the Nobel Prize for his book, but renounced it because he feared for his own life and the safety of Olga, his family and friends. Thirty-one years later, his son accepted it for him. Both the book and the movie pay tribute to this eternal love story.

Shaun Nelson-Henrick

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