“We met in first grade.”
“We met in a weight-loss group.”
“We met at an anti-Valentine’s Day party.”
“We had the same car. By accident, he loaded his groceries into mine.”
“I was getting my iPhone fixed and so was he.”
This eye-opening list appeared in the April issue of Glamour and I loved it (not one mention of finding love on an app). It comes from Brooklyn Sherman, the creator of the Instagram sensation The Way We Met. The article is “as told to” by Emily Mahaney.
Sherman says that she has 300,000 followers and hears every kind of couple talk about how they first got together. She believes that this is proof – to even the biggest dating skeptic – that there is love and a match out there for all of us.
Full disclosure: When I met my husband, there was no OkCupid. I was walking with a girlfriend on Third Avenue near East 49th Street in Manhattan when we ran into one of her male friends. She introduced us, we clicked and that was it.
Sherman becomes more explicit and says, “What I have learned is that while love doesn’t come with guarantees, the couples who fell in love for the long haul did at least one of these things.
THEY DIDN’T RELY ON DESTINY Couples who share their stories on The Way We Met by and large don’t rely on apps. They meet people when they are out and about. They also put themselves in unexpected situations in order to meet someone. They said “yes” to blind dates, they agreed to be auctioned off for charity and they go stag (happily) to a friend’s wedding.
THEY WERE WILLING TO BE EMBARRASSED There’s no shame if your ego gets a little bruised on the way to finding The One. Take Brooke. On her first date with Adam (he cooked for her) she texted to a friend, “OMG, I’m here. He’s SO HOT!” Then she mistakenly sent the message to Adam. “I contemplated running out the door as he read the text”. He looked up at me. Then in the nicest way he said, “I think you meant to send this to someone else.”
WE RECENTLY FOUND THAT 37% OF WOMEN MET THEIR #1 GUY AT SCHOOL OR WORK – ONLY 9% MET AT A BAR OR PARTY
THEY DIDN’T CLOSE OFF After a breakup, it’s a good idea to make your relationship with yourself a priority – invest in a job, spend time with friends – but don’t put up walls.
THEY LISTEN TO THEIR INSTINCTS One final thing: despite all the other variables, The Way We Met couples pay attention to their gut instinct. They often talk about going on epic eight-hour first dates and many become “official” after only a few days.
Here’s an important point: these people took the time to get to know the person in front of them instead of getting distracted by the people they could be dating if they started swiping on their phone.
MAY WE SUGGEST…
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I’ve never liked cheapskates. I once worked with a guy who – when we went out to lunch – would make sure he only paid for what he ordered. And when it came to figuring the tax he made sure the other person paid the extra penny. The result was that, instead of just “splitting the bill” there was a lot of bookkeeping and figuring going on. After awhile no one would go out with him.
On November 1, 2019, I decided to visit MoMA on 53rd Street between Fifth and Sixth Avenues to see the final result of this stupendous project that opened for all to see on October 21st. Frankly, I was amazed at the number of people who showed up. After all, it was a Friday afternoon at 4:00 pm. People should be at work – or at school I thought. Or, was it because this was the day after Halloween? Obviously, I’m a bit out of it because MoMA was like Times Square on New Year’s Eve – but not quite. Everyone was very well behaved and incredibly focused and interested in the art.
On Tuesday, October 8, 2019 – the first day of Yom Kippur – we headed out to our favorite Kips Bay Theatre (2nd Avenue and 31st Street) for a 6:20 pm showing of Downton Abbey. Kips Bay currently has a terrific deal: If one signs up for an “Insider” card (it’s free) you can see a first run movie at any time during the day or night on Tuesdays for $6.00 – which is pretty incredible. Or, paraphrasing The Godfather, I’d say, “That’s an offer we couldn’t refuse.”
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