What’s a Breakup Coach?

I recently attended a book-launching event in the Rare Books Room of the famous Strand Bookstore in Manhattan. During my conversation with the personable young woman sitting next to me, I asked, “And what do you do?” “I’m a Breakup Coach,” she replied. My jaw dropped. “What in the world is that?” I asked.

She introduced herself as Chelsea Trescott and went on to explain that she provides a much-needed service. “Basically, I counsel people who are in a relationship that is not working and want to end it. Or, I advise people who have experienced a breakup and want to move on to a new and different future.” Based on my fascination with this groundbreaking service, I asked Chelsea if I could interview her. “Of course,” she said, “I’d love that.”

Several weeks later we sat down and I did a 90-minute recorded interview with Chelsea. I began by looking at her educational background. “I have a MFA in nonfiction writing from CalArts in Los Angeles County, California. Afterwards, I entered a PhD program in clinical psychology at the New School for Social Research in New York. Finding this unfulfilling, I spent a year acquiring certification to become a Life Coach and I found that this was exactly what I wanted to do.”

All of this background in writing and relationships segued into an astonishing eureka moment for Chelsea. “I had a flash of insight and said to myself, “I’m a Breakup Coach.” “Did you coin this yourself?” I asked. “Let’s put it this way,” she replied, “No one’s ever heard of it and I was able to get the domain for it. I like it because it’s simple and it works.”

Chelsea Trescott, the Breakup Coach

WHAT IS INVOLVED IN HELPING WITH BREAKUPS?

Here are bulleted highlights of the 90-minute interview – in Chelsea’s own words. All are based on her breakup coaching experience.

• I focus on where you are now and where you want to be. We look at the gap between the two.

• I show you how you can reframe your story. That’s what I do with breakups. I’m all about not being bitter.

• I also want you to cease thinking that you are a victim and focus on why you chose a particular person. What did you feel was lacking in your life?

WHO DO YOU HELP WITH BREAKUPS?

• I help both males and females. I consult with all ages but I’ve found that many are in their late twenties to mid-thirties, and are looking for a relationship to ground them.

• I’ve also found that men want very different things from women. They’re all about the “HOW TO”. They say, “Chelsea, tell me how to do it, where to go.” A guy wants direction.

• Women, on the other hand, are more involved with the “WHY”. They take a breakup more personally. A woman is more engaged in things being pulled away from her.

WHAT CONSTITUTES A BREAKUP?

• In the future, people are going to have more long-distance relationships and this can be risky. I feel that the lack of commitment is a trap that you’re setting yourself up for.

• These days, with all these apps, people are constantly breaking up. You go on a date and then never hear from the person again. It’s a constant state of rejection.

“The beauty of Breakup Coaching,” says Chelsea, “Is that it’s all over the phone. But I’m going to expand into texting, emailing and Skype.” Or, as Chelsea’s business card says: Chelsea@breakupwme.com.

Shaun Nelson-Henrick

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